When Darkness Thinks It’s Winning: How God’s Light Carried Me Through the Season That Was Meant to Break Me

—And sometimes… the light shows up right when the darkness thinks it’s winning.

I didn’t understand that truth until I walked through a season I wouldn’t wish on anyone — a season so heavy, so frightening, so unexplainable, it should have swallowed me whole. But God had other plans.

This journey taught me that God’s light in dark seasons doesn’t always remove the storm — but it always reveals His presence.

Singing this in my spirit as I write: I wanna be where You are… gotta be where You are. For Your glory I will do anything, just to see You, to behold You as my King…“For Your Glory” by Tasha Cobbs Leonard  —

That song has a way of pulling your soul forward, reminding you that God’s presence is the only place where everything makes sense.

The definition of darkness is: the absence or deficiency of visible light, resulting in a state of low illumination or blackness.

That hit me hard because I recently walked through a season that should have been completely dark. And I say should because what I went through was frightening in a way I still can’t fully articulate. The fear didn’t just pierce me — it touched the people around me. We all kept asking:

“How can this be happening? Why does this keep coming up?”

But God kept showing me the same scripture, again and again, like a divine echo I couldn’t ignore:

John 10:10 — “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”

And Sparkle Bestie… He didn’t show me this once.

He showed me repeatedly — almost like He was saying, “I need you to get this deep in your spirit. You’re about to go through something, but I will be right beside you.”

And honestly?

That was really enough.

God’s Light in Dark Seasons

As I stepped into this so-called “dark” season, something unexpected happened:

I found light everywhere.

God Sends Helpers When We Least Expect It

People showed up for me in ways I never imagined. God’s illumination came from the most unexpected places — like a trail of breadcrumbs guiding me through.

There was a moment when everything hit me at once — the fear, the weight, the pressure.

I was walking, trying to hold myself together, when a woman I had never seen before reached out and wrapped her arms around me. She hugged me like she had known me all my life and whispered:

“God has you. He will never let you go.”

Then she spoke blessings over me that I couldn’t speak over myself at the time.

And in that moment, I realized:

Even when I feel alone, I’m not.

God will always send helpers — but we must perceive them.

Because sometimes the people who show up in our most broken moments aren’t “just people” at all. Just like Hebrews 13:2 reminds us, some of us have entertained angels without even knowing it.

And that woman — the way she held me, blessed me, and spoke words I didn’t even have the strength to pray — felt like God saying, “See? I told you I would never leave you.”

If I had closed myself off, I would’ve missed God speaking through that woman’s hug.

Choosing Light When Darkness Feels Easier

As I kept walking through this season, I made an intentional choice:

I chose to look for God.

And that choice changed everything.

The enemy tries to make us fear the dark because in the dark, familiar shapes distort. What once made sense becomes confusing. The way forward feels hidden. But darkness cannot exist where light is present.

And sometimes, the only light we need… is faith.

Hebrews 11:1 tells us, “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”

And since faith comes by hearing the Word of God, the oppositional force wants us to believe that if we can’t see God or hear Him audibly, then He must be absent.

But the truth is, God’s presence is constant even when His voice feels quiet.

That’s why the Word has to be spoken. When we speak God’s truth out of our own mouths, our soul hears it. Faith rises. Light enters. And what felt dark begins to lose its power.

His presence will always guide us.

Psalm 23:4 reminds us:“Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for You are with me.”

It doesn’t say I will always hear You. It simply assures me that You are with me.

And that’s more than enough.

So in this season, I felt God saying:

“Take My hand. We’re doing this one minute at a time. Call on Me as often as you need, I’m here.”

And every time I grounded myself in my breath and His Word, I saw glimmers of light.

2 Corinthians 3:18 says we are “changed into the same image from glory to glory,” not in one moment, but over a lifetime.

And Sparkle Bestie… I think that’s what this season was.

Not rainbows and unicorns.

But strength rising in the middle of what was meant to harm me — but couldn’t.

The situation I was in?

Not many make it out of.

And I don’t say that with pride — I say it to emphasize the power of standing on what God says is true.

So I kept speaking:

“By His stripes, I am healed.” (1 Peter 2:24)

And I held onto God’s promise in Jeremiah 17:14:

“Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed…“

And Jeremiah 30:17:

“For I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee of thy wounds…”

Because healing lives in His word.

Walking With God — Practically & Spiritually

Was I perfect in this season?

Absolutely not.

The pain was deep. The discomfort constant.

But I kept choosing God.

I kept choosing grace.

I kept choosing light.

Here are the practical things I did:

• I surrounded myself with people who reminded me of joy, whose presence felt steady, safe, and full of love.

• I told only the people directly involved in my care protecting myself from fear-filled stories or negativity.

• I allowed the situation to be discussed only for solutions, not complaints.

• I removed myself from draining environments.

• I kept my daily routine — journaling, prayer, scripture, worship, and light exercise.

• I took walks without headphones — letting God speak through silence, nature, and stillness.

• I stayed in places that lifted my spirit — barefoot in the grass, laughing, and creating art simply because my soul wanted to.

I didn’t deny what I was going through.

I just refused to let it become my identity.

And when I asked God, “What does healing look like for me?”

He said: “It starts with forgiveness.”

Forgiving others.

And forgiving myself.

One by one, God brought names to my mind.

With each name, He said:

“What did this person teach you?”

And I spoke the lesson.

Then I blessed them.

Then I released them.

When it came time to forgive myself… I broke.

I cried deeply.

God showed me past versions of me — the girl who was doing the best she could with what she knew.

And He said:

“Forgive her.

If not for her, you wouldn’t be who you are now.”

And that broke something open in me — something that needed to break.

That night, I dreamed I was back in my hometown, seeing every moment that ever wounded me.

Every fear. Every rejection. Every insecurity.

And then suddenly —

I was flying over it all.

Weightless.

Free.

Smiling.

The broken places faded.

And I woke up releasing what felt like years of emotional buildup.

My husband said, “What if that was the sickness leaving your body?

”And I said, “I believe that it was.”

Not long after… the doctor’s report came back:

All clear.

What I'm Really Saying

Healing is both physical and spiritual.

Doctors treat — but we must heal.

God does His part.

We must partner with Him by releasing what’s heavy, what’s toxic, what’s blocking our peace.

Because darkness isn’t something you fight.

It’s something you replace.

The moment you bring God’s presence into a situation, the darkness loses its power.

Let’s Pray About It

Dear God,

The Alpha, the Omega, the Great I AM. Fill our hearts with Your loving-kindness and let unending joy overflow in our lives.

Father we thank You for always providing a way in the dark. Thank You that Your presence is the illuminating power we need to keep every evil force at bay. You are Jehovah Rapha, the God who heals. We thank You for Your healing power. We thank You that even when situations try to steal our joy, You remind us through your Word that You came so we may have life — and have it more abundantly.

Thank You that Your Word is our guiding light. Thank you for overcoming everything that seeks to destroy us. We receive Your healing over every area of our lives. Touch us, Lord.

Let Your favor wash over every broken place. Let Your light lead the way and Your promises cover us like healing waters.

Align our words with Your truth.

In Jesus’ mighty name we pray.

Amen.

Sparkle Bestie,

I pray this message lands gently and powerfully. I hope it brings your heart closer to our loving Heavenly Father. May God bless you, keep you in perfect peace, and may His light always illuminate your path.

Sending love and light,

Your Sparkle Bestie,

Shakila B. ✨

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKetXJjMUZ0

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