When Joy Becomes Warfare

Shakila B.
4 days ago
6 min read

A woman in a flowing gown emits golden light from her hand amidst stormy skies and blooming roses, creating a magical, ethereal scene.

A reflection on protecting your peace, your personhood, and your hope in the middle of what you didn’t choose

Hey Sparkle Bestie,

Lately, I’ve been sitting with the reality that sometimes the hardest parts of a difficult season are not always the biggest things.

Sometimes it’s the little things.

The things that seem small from the outside, but don’t feel small when you’re the one living it.

The familiar parts of your routine that help you feel like yourself.

A woman with glowing chest stands amidst floating objects, flowers, and butterflies at sunset. The scene is ethereal and surreal.

There is just something about realizing that when life is asking a lot of you, even the smallest physical changes can feel personal.

Not because you’re vain.

Not because your priorities are out of order.

But because expression matters.

Feeling like yourself matters.

The little things often hold more emotional weight than people realize.

And when those little things are interrupted by something you didn’t ask for, it can be frustrating in a way that is hard to explain.

That is what I’ve been processing.

Not from a place of hopelessness, but from a place of honesty.

Because I am learning that two things can be true at once:

I can be grateful, and I can be frustrated.

I can have faith, and I can still feel the weight of what this journey asks of me.

I can trust God deeply and still have moments where I need to regroup emotionally.

That doesn’t make me weak.

That makes me human.

Sometimes protecting your joy looks less like pretending you’re fine and more like deciding that what you’re facing will not have the final say over who you are.

That has become important to me.

Not just surviving the process.

Not just making it through.

But protecting the parts of me that still feel alive, hopeful, expressive, feminine, creative, and full of light.

Because hard seasons have a way of trying to reduce you to what you’re carrying.

And I refuse that.

I refuse to become only the hard thing I am walking through.

I refuse to let difficulty define the full atmosphere of my life.

I refuse to let fear speak louder than God.

That does not mean I never feel shaken.

It just means I am learning how to come back to center more quickly.

If you’ve read my post When Peace Becomes the Priority, this piece feels like the next layer of that lesson: not only choosing peace, but learning how to hold onto joy in the middle of what feels hard.

I am learning how to return to truth.

I am learning how to let God meet me in the places where my thoughts try to run too far ahead.

There are moments when the reality of life feels heavier than I want it to. Moments when I think about time, the future, and the dreams I still carry. Moments when uncertainty tries to press against my peace. And in those moments, I have to remind myself that faith is not denial. Faith is not pretending reality is easy.

Faith is choosing what will anchor me inside reality.

For me, that anchor is God.

It is the unchanging nature of who He is.

It is knowing that He is still Jehovah Jireh.

Still Jehovah Rapha.

Still present.

Still faithful.

Still God.

And when life feels unstable, that kind of certainty becomes everything.

When Joy Has to Be Protected

Joy is not always loud. Sometimes joy is simply the decision to remain spiritually rooted when life is trying to pull you in every direction.

That is the kind of joy I want.

Not a shallow joy.

Not a performative joy.

Not the kind that disappears the moment something feels hard.

I want the kind of joy that has been tested.

The kind of joy that knows how to cry and still believe.

The kind of joy that can sit in truth without surrendering to despair.

The kind of joy that has learned how to fight for its peace.

Woman in pink top, eyes closed, hand on chest, feeling peaceful. Background shows a sunny garden with flowers and a wooden window.

Because sometimes joy becomes warfare.

Sometimes joy is saying,“Yes, this is hard. Yes, I feel it. Yes, I have moments.

But no, I will not let this steal the essence of who God created me to be.”

That perspective has been helping me.

It has been reminding me that I do not need to have every answer about the future in order to stay present with God today.

I do not need to know how every chapter will unfold to trust the Author.

I do not need to be fearless in order to be faithful.

I just need to keep showing up.

I just need to keep returning to what is true.

I just need to keep holding onto God’s unchanging hand.

And honestly, that phrase has been sitting with me deeply lately.

Split landscape depicting four seasons with pink blossoms, green leaves, autumn foliage, and snowy mountains under a bright sun and blue sky.

Because life changes.

Bodies change.

Seasons change.

Emotions change.

Plans change.

But God does not.

That kind of steadiness does something to my soul.

It reminds me that even in a season that asks for endurance, I still have permission to be soft. I still have permission to care about beauty. I still have permission to express myself.

I still have permission to protect my joy as something sacred.

That is not denial.

That is stewardship.

You are allowed to tend to your joy, even while trusting God in a hard season.

A woman in a dress and hat stands in a sunny meadow, gazing at a dramatic sky with sun rays piercing clouds, surrounded by trees.

Sparkle Bestie, if you have been feeling the weight of life lately, if you have been trying to hold onto yourself while navigating a season you didn’t choose, I just want to remind you of this:

You are not shallow for feeling the little losses.

You are not dramatic for wanting to still feel like yourself.

You are not weak because this is hard.

And you are not faithless because you have moments.

You are human.

You are loved.

You are being held.

And God is still who He has always been.

Let that be enough for today.

Let that be your reminder that even here, even now, your light is still yours to protect.

Scripture to Stand On

➡️ Job 5:17–18“Blessed is the one whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty. For he wounds, but he also binds up; he injures, but his hands also heal.”

A reminder that even when the process is painful, God’s heart is still toward healing.

➡️ John 10:10“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”

A powerful anchor when it feels like life is trying to steal your peace, your joy, or your sense of self.

➡️ Isaiah 26:3“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.”

For the moments when your thoughts feel unsettled and you need your mind brought back into peace.

➡️ Psalm 27:13–14“I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living…”

A steadying promise when you need hope to stay active in your spirit.

Six people, diverse in appearance, gather in a circle with hands raised in a sunny, harmonious setting. Warm colors and calm expressions prevail.

Let’s Pray About It

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You for being constant in every season of our lives. Thank You for being our peace when things feel unsteady, our provider when we feel uncertain, and our healer in every place that needs Your touch.

Help us protect our joy in difficult seasons. Teach us how to remain rooted in You when life feels heavy. Remind us that we do not have to pretend in order to be powerful, and we do not have to be fearless in order to be faithful.

Strengthen us in the places where we feel tender. Quiet every thought that tries to pull us away from Your truth. Restore what feels worn down, and help us hold onto the beauty, identity, and light You placed within us.

Thank You for loving us so deeply and so consistently. Thank You for being the same God yesterday, today, and forever.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.

A Note from My Heart to Yours ✨

Sparkle Bestie,

Some seasons ask more of us than others.

They ask for patience.

They ask for surrender.

They ask for a kind of endurance that can only be built with God.

But I want you to know that even in those seasons, your softness still matters.

Your joy still matters.

The parts of you that make you feel alive still matter.

My prayer is that this post reminds you that you do not have to lose yourself in order to make it through a hard season.

You are allowed to care for your spirit.

You are allowed to protect your peace.

You are allowed to keep reaching for joy.

And if all you can do today is hold onto God’s unchanging hand, that is more than enough.

With love,

Your Sparkle Bestie,

Shakila B. ✨

A question for you to sit with:

What is one part of yourself you are committed to protecting in this season, and what would it look like to steward it with grace?

P.S. The song choice is giving old-school Southern Baptist church energy… if you know, you know. ✨

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wuXQMPMpVq8

The Stewart Brothers - Hold To God's Unchanging Hand (Official Video) [Hymn Revival Version]

*Some images in this post were created with the assistance of AI as a visual extension of the written message.

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